I was a recently divorced single woman in my early 50's and I like so many of my friends turned to
online dating for a solution. I had always assumed that internet dating was something that just younger people did, so I really did not expect very much. Like I said, I was desperate and could not think of anything else to try. Even so, convinced by my friends and sisters, I jumped in with both feet. One of my friends warned me not to say anything about where I lived or worked and to not put any personal contact information into my profile, so heeding her advice, I proceeded. I am such a Luddite with computers that I had to actually get a friend to upload the photos that my sister selected for my profile. At that point, I just sat back and waited to see what would happen, not expecting too much.
The next day, when I logged in I had ten email messages in my inbox. All were introductions from guys my age. A couple of them even looked interesting, so I replied to them and sent my regrets to the rest. From that point on I was on the site multiple times a day interacting with a lot of different men. It was pretty heady. A lot of them were pretty oafish, but I just blocked them so they could not talk to me anymore. What a great feature that is! As I got more comfortable with a few of them, I faced the dilemma of having to meet them face to face at some point. The question was where? I finally decided on a restaurant that I knew a few blocks from where I worked. I felt safe there, knew most of the staff, and knew they would help me if there was any issues. It was exciting, but it was exhausting. Learning so much information about so many people and keeping it all straight in your head is tough work.But I forced myself to stick it out. I started questioning if I could keep up the pace, but I was determined not to spend much more of my life by myself, so I kept at it.
I had spent much of my life being in a long term relationship and I wanted that feeling of stability in my life again. I noticed that even though I was still talking to several men, one of them seemed to be on my mind continuously. His profile was very well done. He didn't appear to be high on himself. He said that he believed in equality for women and that he was in touch with his feminine side. At first I thought he was gay, but that was not the case at all. He just hated when he saw examples of women being treated as inferior in any way. In that, he showed a degree of ethics and morals that I have never seen in another man. He indicated to me that a lot of his change in mind set came about from being stationed in Europe for many years. Some countries he had been to did not treat women as well as others. In fact, some countries had definite social castes that was abhorrent to him. In any event, he had been transferred back fairly recently recently, and had been going out of his way to make sure people knew the slippery slope that oppressing one part of society can do to the overall mores of society as a whole.
I had traveled to Europe several times. On top of this, we both shared a love of most winter sports. We often chatted about our impression of various cities, and which ski resorts did we like the best. His picture had looked a little fuzzy so it was difficult to see what he looked like, but I was willing to throw caution to the wind and talk to him anyway. When we first decided to talk over the phone, I was nervous about giving him my number. I convinced him to give me his instead. He gave me his number but I was to nervous to call him. When he asked why I had not called, I just told him I had lost his number. I finally did get around to calling him, but it took me a while. It was good that I did.
“He was fantastic, charming so sweet and such a gentleman. He was just so amazing. In real life he was even better than online. So sweet, and always a gentleman. He turned out to be an incredibly sweet and charming guy. Always a gentleman. We made arrangements to meet at a very nice restaurant, I arrived first and sat at the table starring at the door, crossing my fingers that I was not going to regret this. As I sat there waiting, my eyes were attracted to this totally sexy guy who walked through the door. He looked familiar to me somehow. Then I gasped in surprised as I realized it was my date. I managed to wipe the drool off my face by the time he got to the table. He had black hair with just a touch of gray, he just stood there looking for me for a minute then came over and sat down. We were just so comfortable as we talked over lunch. I didn't want it to ever end. The meal would not last long enough for me. I was having too good a time. We left after he paid the bill. I noticed that he left a nice tip as well. He kissed me when we got to my house. As he drove away, I sighed. Everything was just too good to be true. The chemistry for me had been instantaneous. I already knew that he was the one.
I do not know how it was possible, but each date after that one seemed better than the one before. But something began to bother me. I had not been exactly truthful about my age in my profile. My friends had convinced me to exaggerate a little. Just take a few years off and when he finds out later, well maybe it won't matter. I had only shaved three years off of my age, No big deal. But nobody likes to be lied to. It is a breach of trust, and once broken can become a huge issue in a relationship. It was not good that I had started our relationship with a lie. I wanted to fess up and tell him the truth, but I was having trouble finding the right opportunity.
He took me to a little club he liked for a drink one night. The waiter is a friend of his so when he asked to see my I.D I knew that Max (my honey) had put him up to it. In the spirit of the moment, I pulled out my license to show him, and we all chuckled. Max put out his hand and the waiter just passed him my license. He glanced at it, and then took a second look. He stared at me and said, “Wow! It says here you are fifty four!” I sat there in shock. He then sat down and started to laugh. He said, “Well I guess the joke is on me. I lied about my age too!” In the final analysis it ended up that our actual ages were two years apart. He was just a bit older than me. We laughed about the fact that we had both caught each other out.
We had dated for six months or so. In the wee hours of the morning, he called me. I was startled out of a very deep sleep where I was dreaming about cavorting around with him in our mutual all-togethers. He needed to say something to me and it could not wait. He insisted on coming over immediately. Half an hour later he came in, sat down and said, “I have something to say to you that can't be put off any longer.” I thought to myself, “Oh God this can't be good.”
I opened up a box of tissues. Somehow I knew that I would be in tears shortly. Well I needed them, but in a good way. He sat there and told me that he had travel to many countries and had met and dated countless women. But he had never felt a kinship with any of them until he met me. He said that after all this time, he finally found the woman that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Then he got down on one knee and asked for my hand in marriage. I had to say yes. I mean what else could I do. I was madly in love with him.
For the last three years, since we have been married, I have been blissfully happy. When I had thought of my first marriage in the past, I wanted something as good. When I look back on it now, I realize that it had been the shell of a marriage. What I have with Max has eclipsed it in so many ways. We are on a perpetual honeymoon. I will never think of online dating sites in the lowly terms that I used to perceive them. I now only think of them in superlative terms. After all, I met the most perfect man in the world on one.
The saga of Max and I is just starting. But I am eternally grateful to the online dating industry for bringing us together. If you have been loath to try Internet dating, you should give it a try. It is not all as rosy as I have depicted in my tale. I found that there were a lot of truly despicable characters on just about every site. But each site gives you tools that allow you to easily block them. When you block someone on a dating site, you cease to exist for them. They will never be able to find you in search results again. From their perspective, you no longer have an account on the site. I tell you that only because I have met a lot of women who stopped using dating sites because they ran into a few morons, and never spent any time learning how to deal with them. In any event, even with the negatives that you will find, I would recommend online dating to anyone.
Please find below a link to a dating and relationships resource site. You will find that it is well organized with links to many of the top dating sites on the Internet. There are also a lot of good tips and advice type articles as well. I wish you the best in your search!