I was in my early fifties and had been divorced for a couple of years. In that time I had not connected with anybody, so, like many other people nowadays, I turned to
online dating. I had always assumed that internet dating was something that just younger people did, so I really did not expect very much. Like I said, I was desperate and could not think of anything else to try. Even so, convinced by my friends and sisters, I jumped in with both feet. I created a profile that said a bit about myself. I was careful to leave out anything that would let someone find my home or place of work. I am such a Luddite with computers that I had to actually get a friend to upload the photos that my sister selected for my profile. At that point, I just sat back and waited to see what would happen, not expecting too much.

The next day, when I logged in I had ten email messages in my inbox. All were introductions from guys my age. A couple of them even looked interesting, so I replied to them and sent my regrets to the rest. From that point on I was on the site multiple times a day interacting with a lot of different men. It was pretty heady. A lot of them were pretty oafish, but I just blocked them so they could not talk to me anymore. What a great feature that is! If I got to the point that I wanted to meet in person I made sure that I met everyone at a nice restaurant down the street from where I worked. That way I felt safe and that I would have control of the situation. It was exciting, but it was exhausting.  Learning so much information about so many people and keeping it all straight in your head is tough work.But I forced myself to stick it out. I started questioning if I could keep up the pace, but I was determined not to spend much more of my life by myself, so I kept at it.

I had spent much of my life being in a long term relationship and I wanted that feeling of stability in my life again. I noticed that even though I was still talking to several men, one of them seemed to be on my mind continuously. He had a way of wording things in his emails that I found refreshing from the rest of the men. He was concise, yet managed to be articulate at the same time. It showed that he thought about what he wrote about before committing it to words. So much better than the random blathering that I got from most other people. It even showed in his profile which left me with the impression that he was someone well educated, who was not ego centric. He seemed to be really in touch with the so called “feminine side” of himself. I was surprised about how often he asked me how I felt about things. When you talk to most men about things that are troubling you, they instantly try to tell you how to fix it. He was not like that. He would often talk to me for a long time delving into my feelings about things before ever venturing an opinion. My first instinct was that he was gay and just pulling my leg, but I later realized that hew was the genuine article. He was just a very empathic person who cared about everybody. He could not stand that fact that some people treated women like second class citizens. In fact, he took it as a personal affront. He indicated to me that a lot of his change in mind set came about from being stationed in Europe for many years. Some countries he had been to did not treat women as well as others. In fact, some countries had definite social castes that was abhorrent to him. In any event, he had been transferred back fairly recently recently, and had been going out of his way to make sure people knew the slippery slope that oppressing one part of society can do to the overall mores of society as a whole.

We both loved winter sports, and since I had traveled to Europe more than a few times, we had a lot to talk about.  His picture had looked a little fuzzy so it was difficult to see what he looked like, but I was willing to throw caution to the wind and talk to him anyway. I didn’t want him to call me. I thought that would be giving out too much information. As a compromise, I informed him through an e-mail that I would call him. He gave me his number but I was actually too scared to call at first. I finally did get around to calling him, but it took me a while. It was good that I did.

“He was fantastic, charming so sweet and such a gentleman. He was just so amazing. In real life he was even better than online. So sweet, and always a gentleman For that first date we met at a nice little restaurant that we were both familiar with. I got there first, worried that it would make me look needy, but I could not help myself. I am compulsive about being early to everything. My biggest concern was that we would not click. As I looked towards the door, in walked this gorgeous hunk of a man. Before he came over, he looked at me from across the room. As he stood there, I absorbed the fact that he had dark hair, almost black, with just a touch of grey at the temples. Almost like professor X in the Xmen comics. We were just so comfortable as we talked over lunch. I didn't want it to ever end. It was too bad that we were only planning a meal together. The time was going by too fast.  We left after he paid the bill. I noticed that he left a nice tip as well. He kissed me when we got to my house. As he drove away, I sighed. Everything was just too good to be true. The chemistry for me had been instantaneous. I already knew that he was the one.
Each date we had after that one seemed better than the last. I knew it had to plateau at some time, but for the present I was just riding the wave. About this time, something began to weigh on my mind. I had not been totally truthful on my profile. Some of it was just exaggeration of my likes and dislikes which was pretty minor. I was most concerned that I had shaved a few years off my age. My friends had put me up to it. They said that everyone exaggerates a bit when selling something, and after all, your profile is your sales pitch. I guess they sucked me into it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I put my age as 51 but in fact I was 54, “not a big deal I know”, but most people, even guys, don't like to be lied to and will wonder what else you've lied about. I wanted to fess up and tell him the truth, but I was having trouble finding the right opportunity.

He took me to a little club he liked for a drink one night. The waiter asked me for proof of age with a smile on his face. I just knew that my honey Max had put him up to it. So just for fun I took my drivers license out to show him, we all had a good chuckle about it. Max asked if he could see my license and I just passed it over without a thought. He said, “Holy cow, you're fifty four!” I just sat there not knowing what to say. He then sat down and started to laugh. He said, “Well I guess the joke is on me. I lied about my age too!” As it turned out he was older than he stated in his profile. It seems he's two years older than me and not two years younger. We spent the next few minutes talking and laughing about the fact that we both had been caught.

We dated for about six months. Then one night he called me at one o’clock in the morning, waking me from a wonderful dream. He said he needed to talk to me right now, and that It couldn’t wait. He would not tell me anything over the phone. So I waited with mixed emotions for twenty minutes or so until he arrived. He walked in and announced, “I need to say something that cannot be put off any longer.”

I braced myself for the worst, even opening a box of Kleenex because I was sure I was going to need them. I was right about the fact that I needed the tissues, but wrong about why. He asked me to marry him. He said he had never been so happy with anyone in his life, and that he knows I'm the one. Needless to day, after some initial sobbing in happiness, I agreed!

We have been married three years, and so far its been wonderful, successful and fantastic, I feel like such a lucky women to have Max in my life. It is like being a new bride every day. And to think that I found this wonderful man on a dating site.

I will not say that things between Max and me are always perfect. Sometimes they are even better than perfect if you can imagine such a thing. I will be perpetually grateful to the online dating industry, and in particular the specific site I joined for bringing Max into my life. No matter what you think about them right now, don't ever be shy or embarrassed about joining an online dating site. In my opinion, they are the future of courtship.
For your convenience I have included a link below to a resource site I used to find appropriate dating sites. It also has a ton of informative articles on how to use dating sites to your advantage, as well as a lot of relationship articles as well. Good luck landing your soulmate!

Advice for Women

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    My name is Clarissa, I am the writer of this blog. I am happily married and the mother of 2. I enjoy horse back riding, writing ,cooking and spending time with my family. I hope you enjoy your visit to my site.


    July 2012